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Feng Shui
How to live in harmony with nature and your humans
by Grand Master Ziggy
To help us cats, adjust to the indoor-only edict, we've
decided to implement a bit of oriental philosophy,
and we came up with Feng Shui for Cats. The
concept of Feng Shui, we learned, is to live in a
balanced environment, to attain spiritual harmony
with oneself and others around us.
Ch'i - Life Force
Ch'i is life force and is good when encouraged to
flow evenly throughout the house. SHA, which we
decided must be Bad Ch'i, delivers adversity and
misfortune, it is said. Upon contemplation, we are
convinced that SHA must be responsible for
hairballs and d*gs. Bad SHA!
Maximizing Energy
Developing good Feng Shui seems to be a matter of
maximizing energy, which we endorse
wholeheartedly. It is no wonder then, that the
placement of one's bed is of vital importance for
attaining the goal of maximized energy. There are
several rules for bed placement that seem to have
been designed specifically for cats:
Never place your bed under a window, as your Ch'i
might escape while you sleep, and Ch'i is best kept
circulating through the house rather than rushing
in and out the window.
Don't place your bed between two doors. Bad SHA
might rush in through one door, envelope you, and
then rush out the other (to say nothing of d*gs and
strange cats).
Never allow your bed to be right next to a bathroom
wall nor directly below a toilet. Bad yin energy
from the toilet can cause loss of health and wealth
and all kinds of other catastrophes. (We're not
entirely sure what yin energy is, but think it might
be related to SHA.) Nonetheless, bad is bad.
Don't let your bed be in a direct line with the door. It
will allow all your energy and good luck to drain
out through the door, along with your favorite toys
and any hidden treats you've stashed away.
Wind and Water
Simply put, cats love neither, but since Feng Shui is
sometimes translated as Wind and Water, we will
accept it for the sake of his spiritual harmony.
Actually, All if us cats sez water is fine as long as
it is contained in a goldfish bowl, but we'll take our
wind from the inside looking out, thank you very
much (unless it's the wind our humans occasionally
breaks in bed at night).
There is a lot more to learn about Feng Shui. (One
article said a very smart student, studying
extensively for twenty years, might reach the first
level of understanding.) We learned just enough to
know that there is also a lot of bad Feng Shui, along
with bad Ch'i, and shelves, mirrors and sharp
corners all have a part in it. For that reason, we will
avoid all of those. Frankly, all this study made us
very sleepy, so we're going to take a nap . By the
way, our beds are between two windows, next to the
bathroom wall, and points directly to the kitchen,
which has got to be bad Ch'i all around. We're going
to cuddle, though, so that our positive energy will
flow back and forth between us, SHA be damned.
It may come as no surprise to you that the other cats
and I really don't know anything about Feng Shui,
but we've enjoyed this little exercise and hope you
did too, and that you won't report us to the Bad Feng
Shui cops.
Good Ch'i to you and yours!
